"Quicksand"

Well between last night and this morning I came to a lot of realizations that were only further solidified by talking to my friend Jessica, but more on that later. We didn’t have to be at rehearsal today until a little later so that was nice. Derek, a fellow cast member, and I decided to carpool together since Disney has been shoving “Going Green” down our throats. I’ve practically stopped exhaling because “it’s bad for the environment” ☺. Anyway, I got over to his apartment complex around 7:20 (rehearsals began at 8). And after waiting around for about ten minutes and freezing my butt off (you have no idea how wonderful it feels to say that—I’m not complaining ☺), I realized that Derek wasn’t coming. So I ran back to my car and prayed that I would make it to work on time.
Don’t worry, it’s okay, I made it, and so did Derek, but just by the hair of his chinny chin chin.
Anyway, we had rehearsals all morning, but because the dance studio we were in wasn’t built to accommodate the size of the castle stage, my fellow unimportant members and I were forced to sit and watch because there just wasn’t room for us. We decided to stand on the side of the “stage” and do our choreography, but no worries; we managed to entertain ourselves the whole time so we had fun.
After work, I headed back to the apartment to eat and catch a quick nap. I had another bridged shift today what with rehearsal in the morning and a parade at night. I got about an hour of sleep before having to throw on my jeans and head into work. I got there, clocked in, got my make up done (which continues to get better looking-just fyi), and headed to step off. Tonight, rather than being able to climb onto my float, I had to be hoisted up to another float in a cherry picker. It was actually pretty cool, and despite butchering all the choreography, the night seemed to go fairly well. I would just try overcompensating with lots of energy and big movements. Goodness, I tipped my hat and blew kisses like a fiend tonight; however, when it comes time to read my notes, I’m afraid the management staff won’t be quite so impressed with my big movements and flawless kiss blowing technique. Darn it.
So time for the revelations. I never realized just how hard being on my own would be; let me rephrase that, being on my own away from any source of Christian accountability. I miss good solid Christian friends so so much. I normally can embrace new experiences pretty well, but this one has been exceptionally hard, and I finally figured out why. All of the other experiences involved me being thrust into a group of Christians. There we (hopefully) shared some common ground—we were all striving for holiness; and even if everyone wasn’t the strongest of Christians, there was still that common ground which just made certain things okay and certain things completely unacceptable. We could keep each other accountable because if push came to shove, we could bring each other back to the idea of righteous motivations. Here, I don’t have that. Here, I am surrounded by unsaved people daily, the majority of which are highly negative. It because increasingly difficult to stay positive and upbeat when the vast majority of those around you choose to look for the bad in situations. First off, thank you so much to all of you who have been so faithful in praying for me. I am truly humbled by the amount of people who are willing to give up their time to do that! If you could just ask that God be my strength throughout the next couple of months. My biggest fear is that all of this negativity will seep into my heart and I will come back harder and more critical, and I don’t want that. I see just how much an optimistic person is needed in the world, and more importantly, just how much they stand out from the crowd. Please ask that God will continue to fill my mind with reasons to celebrate daily. He IS good and He continues to bless me in ways I don’t deserve! Now comes the hard part, dwelling on that throughout the day.